Author: Wolsey

I am a boring middle aged man. I am an author and a maker. I do a lot of cooking and gardening.

Garden Progress & Operation Squirrel Interdiction is a go

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Well, I got the chicken wire up on Operation Squirrel Interdiction.

I am going to use PVC pipes on the front there, and make a door that is all chicken wired.

I am thinking of covering the ground with gravel, but I can’t seem to figure out how much gravel I need, and I had sticker shock when I looked at Lowes.

It occurred to me my cat can come out with me to the garden when it’s done because it will be inclosed. She may like that.

I also used some of the surplus dirt to fill holes in my front yard. Oliver the big black main coon stray cat that was re-homed and his incredibly feral littermate were using my entire front yard like a free roaming litter box. I had thought it was a dog because the leavings were so damn big. These cats are bigger than some dogs.

The result is my lawn looking like it is going through chemo because of the tufts of grass and big dug out holes.

So with the holes filled, we seeded the lawn with clover seed. We prefer clover to grass. We will see how that works out.

What I have learned is the lawn looks like it was landscaped with some sort of garbage rock fill dirt. There is literally garbage all over. Glass, roofing shingles, plastic, kids toys, and so damn many rocks. It’s bad. I am glad I am going with raised beds and expensive new dirt.

I mean, the city I live in is notorious for superfund sites anyways, and you have to get the soil checked if you want to grow in the ground. I don’t even want to try, and now with all the rocks and crap? Yeah, no. I’m not in a specifically known site, but I’m not taking chances.

I had to order more T fittings for the PVC and it won’t get here until Thursday. That and a couple bails of straw are the last items I need to start an actual garden.

It may be late in the seasons, but honestly the last frost date just happened so we are all late this season.

I just watched my wife kick the trashcan, startle herself, then look for the source of the noise.

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She has no proprioception and was shocked to hear that the noise was her own foot. In the 30+ years we have been together I had always wondered why this happened to her, and I guess from reading other people with ADHD have the same problem. Proprioception seems to take a hit.

Garden Plans

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-First published on Tumblr on 4/10/23 before I realized Tumblr has no real archival function.

For most people, they would probably have knocked out this garden on a weekend. I mean, I would have when I was in my 20s or 30s.

However, because I live with a degenerative physical disability, I take time. It took me about a week, working like an hour or two at a time to just dig out the sod, and it took me three different days to do the raised beds.

It’s very nice to see my work come to fruition, but it’s bittersweet because it’s a noticeable loss of ability to take this long to get it done, with recovery periods between each work period.

But, look at my soon to be garden. It’s a mess because it’s in progress. I am going to put chicken wire over the whole hoop house/greenhouse thing, and that way, the squirrels, cats, raccoons, and possums can’t get into my beds.

It’s a 10 foot by 20 foot hoop house frame for about $200 on amazon. The three blue beds are about $200 each on amazon as well.

I chose expensive metal raised beds because 1) I won’t have to redo them, as they won’t degrade like wood, and 2) my physical condition is worsening and raised beds are easier to work with for bending and mobility. I am looking to the future when my body is worse, so if I get it all in now, I will still have it then.

Ideally, I would have liked to get this all in before the last frost, but we own the house so I don’t have to rush. Everything I get to work on this year will be there for me next year.

I have to build in recovery days. Like I don’t have pictures, but I started the chicken wire, and I overdid it a little. It took me three days of soreness and exhaustion to recover. I will put up pictures when that phase is done.

It’s so weird owning a home, where I can do anything I want. I never thought I would own one. It’s like minecraft in real life. Each little project I get to keep, and my world is better for it.

2004 Yarn Drama

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Wolsey’s in the paper for knitting

This is me pre transition. I’m not sure I have thick enough hair to take dreads these days. Such is the price of testosterone, but it’s a price I happily paid.

Funny enough I went to a little yarn shop in my small town and the older boomer-aged ladies recognized me from the paper, probably the dreads, and were MAD! I was told I didn’t deserve to be in the paper for knitting. I was approached at WWU while I was attending because I used to sit in Red Square and knit between classes. Probably more crochet than knit but the whole Stitch’n’Bitch knitting phenomena was going full swing, so the reporter was focused on knitting.

Apparently despite the article being about younger knitters, they felt the article unfairly focused on . . . younger knitters. I never went back to that little yarn store, and it was out of business in less than a year anyways. I can’t say I was surprised.

This picture was 19 years ago. I no longer have dreads, and I certainly don’t look like a woman anymore.

Butcher Block Counter Tops

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-Originally posted on Tumblr on 3/1/23.

This is my countertop after normal messy kitchen use for months. It has been covered in sauce drippings, coffee rings, and red cabbage spots.

When I put it in the shitty contractor was very vocal about how fragile it would be, and I read online and watched YouTube vids where people were super unhappy about having it in their kitchens. It got me scared that I might have made a mistake and I started worrying about it a lot. I’m a worrier at heart.

Yet, we’ve dumped things all over it and it comes right off. I finished it with mineral oil, and reapply it when I remember, and it’s been amazing. Nothing has remotely stained it. I have literally dumped steak drippings all over it, and it just wipes right up.

I used to work at The Wild Garlic in Bellingham, and it had dark 30 year old butcher block counters. We cut directly on them, and some areas were actually concave where decades of cutting happened. We never gave it any thought. I loved them because we tossed hot pots right on it. It’s the reason I got them in my house.

I’m not sure anything we do can mess it up honestly. It seems to be perfect and I am no longer worried. I am really happy with them.

I just want to note the shitty contractor took a picture of this corner join, not when it was 1/8th inch uneven between sections and unfilled, but after I spent the evening after he left, sanding and filling it. As if he did the finishing work. Like, unbelievable.

Little Blue House Projects

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With my craft/sewing area almost done, I have a bunch of projects for Little Blue House.

  1. Build a cabinet box. This was what the shit contractor was suppose do. That got paid $275 to do. That they did not do. I need to build and install a cabinet box on the other side fo the dishwasher. I plan to leave it open, paint it, and use it to store large cookie sheets. My stumbling block is that I am trying to straighten out my cupped plywood. I am also partially terrified of my circular saw. It’s a big spoon project because I have anxiety about it. When I get my plywood straightened, I just have to do it and get it over with to not worry about it anymore.
  2. Curtains for the wardrobe craft overflow bedroom. I have the curtain. I sewed it all up. I just need to put up the curtain rod.
  3. Buy a rug for the craft area. I can paint without it, but it would be nice to have a “disposable” flooring for my painting. I am messy.
  4. Put together two more garden beds. I put one together, which took me like an hour and a half and 144 bolts. I bought dirt that will arrive tomorrow. Dirt costs way too FUCKING much money.
  5. Arrange the first three garden beds. I need enough space to build a chicken wire cage around them to prevent the squirrels from eating my food. The great squirrel interdiction shall begin eventually. Shoveling dirt into the beds will be a lot of work for my broken body. Gardening is pushing my physical abilities by a lot.
  6. Curtains. I have to get fabric and make curtains. I’d buy them, but I just don’t like what is on sale. I want white fabric backed curtains so little blue house has white curtains from the outside to match the trim but cool curtains on the inside. I have to sew those. It’s not a huge project, but it tires me out so much.
  7. Screens! All of them are garbage. Like dry rotted and old, and we have cats. So I have to replace every screen in the house. I literally can’t remember that when I go to the hardware store. I forget the minute I walk in and never buy screening, spline, or a spline roller. My wife worries about how hard it will be, but it’s like a 15 minute job per screen if I had the materials.

I like having a new house, but I am a very picky everything-in-its-place kind of person, and it’s a lot. I am over 50 with a degenerative condition, and I am so tired. Sometimes I just can’t do things. 30 years ago I’d be done with everything right now. It’s hard to be kind to yourself when you can’t keep up with your physical capabilities.

Art/Crafts Area almost complete

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-This was first posted on Tumblr on 2/15/23.

This is an in-progress picture of my art/crafts area. My previous apartment was only 564 square feet, which I shared with my wife and cat, and required two desk set ups because we worked from home. We did not have room for anything.

That meant to do any sort of sewing, painting, cricuting, etc. I had to pull everything out from under the bed, the couch, in the closet, etc, and set it up, and then put it all back away.

If I painted, then my easel was literally in the middle of a walking space, so I never felt comfortable leaving anything out.

In our new home, the “living room” area is now the creation area. I have room to grow. For the first time in my life, I have all my paints out so I can see what I have. Before, it was all in a toolbag that lived in a closet, and I had to dig for everything I wanted.

The baskets on the top shelf are all filled with my fabric stash, and sewing projects. The white box with stickers is literally cat stuff.

The table pulls out for an additional 2 feet. I can lay out full patterns on it! No more floor patterns, where my dislocating shoulder becomes an agonizing disaster, and I race against time to get it done due to pain.

I hung a lamp right where I needed it for maximum lighting!

I have two drawers that are empty, and one that is only half full of patterns. I have so much room to grow!

Even better, my wife now feels like she can do things here too. I am so happy we made the “living room” out of one bedroom so that we could have this space.

This will surely be tweaked and adapted as I go on, but I just can’t describe how good it was for my soul to have a space for creative hands-on work.

I have the sewing machine set up in the closet room right now, but it will come out to the table. I will put a serger in there when I get one, eventually. I want to paint the shelf boards so they don’t look weird, and replace the dollar store blue baskets with better fitting versions, maybe little drawers in the shelves.

This really makes this house feel like a home.

Anxiety – Night Terrors

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-This was originally posted on Tumblr on 1/20/23.

I have a long history of night terrors and incredibly life-like PTSD dreams. I’d like to thank my family when I was a kid in the 80s and having to survive on my own as a teen, sometimes homeless. Nobody is on their own as a 16 year old if your family is a good one.

I am in my 50s now. The super clear nightmares are very rare these days, but when I go through stressful events, I have night terrors and I wake up screaming.

This unsettles my wife and my cat, and I am left with a hazy feeling of fear and unease. I don’t don’t remember dreams for this these days. That’s probably for the best, really.

I suspect the stress of the contractor mess, combined with my history means last night my anxiety was like, “Go get him!”

This morning, I came out and looked at my kitchen sink, which is perfectly sealed (by me), my counters sanded and oiled (by me), my dishwasher properly installed (by me), and the under sink plumbing perfectly done (By plumber Jimmy) and sighed in relief. The nightmare is over, and my house is not ruined.

It’s funny how I never thought I’d own a home. I accidentally lucked into buying this one. I feel at any minute, someone could take it all away. That overhead anxiety about the move and all this is not easy.

Adding this contractor disaster? That was just too much.

It’s causing all my minor concerns to be an anxious mess. I talked to my therapist about it. I finally have a good one, and he was reassuring me that with my background (homeless queer kid in the 80s) it’s normal to have anxieties and reactions like this to high stress.

I guess I never thought of it that way. We talked about how if you have PTSD and anxiety that it’s okay to take measures to reduce that, even if others might not understand. Like I am going to have electricity run to my shed next year (was going to be this year until I had to pay to fix the contractor’s shit) because I am unaccountably terrorized by the dark in the shed at night. I know why. It’s related to my childhood, but I am 51. I wish it still didn’t affect me, and the spector of my father didn’t still haunt me.

My therapist said you’d be gentle with others if it was them, but you have no patience for yourself. I guess we all do that. We don’t give ourselves space to exist in our own heads.

So I guess if I am 51 and can forget, here’s a reminder to others.

Contractor Disaster Conclusion & Why hiring tradespeople while trans is terrifying or why I need a lesbian contractor.

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This was originally posted on 1/14/23 on Tumblr, after I had to do some clean up work after a contractor I hired messed up my home to a shocking degree. I had hired the contractor because I have a degenerative condition and can’t really do it easily anymore due to this.

I got the sink seated on my counters and sealed with silicone despite the contractor’s assurances that nobody seals their kitchen sink anymore. Each job was one panic attack at a time. Then I realized the plumbing under the sink was insane. Like the Three Stooges image above, every time I tried to tighten something, another part leaked or fell apart.

So my wife hired Beacon Plumbing and TL/DR, $722 later, we are good.

The longer version is my wife called and set it up, and the plumber, Jimmy, was here within 1.5 hours, but I didn’t actually correct him when he assumed I was my wife. She has a masculine voice and a gender-neutral name. She is also visibly transgender and hid in the back room because she was in her PJs and had no makeup on and didn’t want to shave and look cis presentable to a stranger.

While I was happy to roll the dice with the plumber and hope he wasn’t a bigot, my wife was just not up to it after dealing with the contractor. This is what happens when you are visibly trans. You just don’t know how someone will react to you and if it’s something super important? You might opt to obscure the fact that you are trans.

Jimmy was a conservative, but “Not like those crazy bastards!” per our conversations, but my wife just didn’t want to chance it. After the contractor and the issue with him? She was exhausted. I just don’t blame her, so I put on my cis-passing mannerisms, and acted as straight as I could. I think Jimmy would have been fine, but we were exhausted.

Jimmy was a plumbing fucking hero, though. I will definitely call him for anything else. I can’t believe how great he was.

Of note, he took pictures of the plumbing and posted them to a boomer-aged FB group for plumbing fails. In the 1.5 hours he was here fixing things, it kept binging on his phone with snarky boomer-aged plumbers just taking the piss out of how bad it was. Apparently, it was quite popular.

I have a picture diagram:

Basically, it was so bad it never would have drained properly and probably fallen apart with use. Jimmy tightened everything up and fixed things so they would work. As a bonus, my drains now actually drain instead of slowly swirling forever like the contractor left them. Nice.

I paid the man $722 to fix this. I already paid the nightmare contractor $5000ish. This is so far over our budget that it’s insane. Thank god we have a VISA. Otherwise, this would have been critically fucked for our house.

Another side effect of all this is I am sore as fuck. The reason I hired someone was that I am not physically able to do this shit anymore. I have a disability. Yet, there I was, panic-fixing the sink, reinstalling the dishwasher, and sanding and fixing the counter joins as best as could be done. It’s just nuts. I think I still have to shim the counter where the sink is, so there is no flex. Like WTF?! This contractor was a moron and I can’t believe he thinks this is okay.

I can’t help but wonder if my contractor felt fucking us over was permissible becuase we are trans and queer? I mean, he’s a grifter, that is for sure, but we presented as a trans couple, and while not actively an issue, he was shocked to find out I was trans. I think he screws everyone over, but again, in this political climate? It’s hard not to wonder.

He also would not acknowledge or speak to my wife, and we could not tell if he was a sexist jackass or if it was because she was trans. Being visibly transgender means that it is always a question for her.

My wife heard of a local contractor company that was run by lesbians. First, lesbians get shit done in the world on an epic level, and second, we’d feel more comfortable working with someone from our own LGBTQ community. It would feel safer.

We will look into that in the future so my wife doesn’t feel like she will have to hide in a back room while I pretend to be her.

Still, Jimmy was a goddammed hero.

I don’t think we will ever even find this asshole to recoup losses, but since I found him on Angi’s List, I will call them and let them know what happened. I can at least put an effort into preventing him from fleecing someone else off there.